Nerdsetc - A D&D podcast

Suppliment: Iolanda & Hanrick

Iolanda tries to understand the ways of the business world while dealing for her ring.

Episode Fifty-seven: Fighters on the Storm

September 27, 2021

The party tries to survive a sandstorm that brings more than its fair share of troubles.

Quotes:

• Shut Jared up before he does something that gets him in jail again!
• I'll help with the prank!
• Fifteen? It’s better than a nine
  Mathematically, yes.
• Just for the readers at home
  And for me, because I did not do my homework
• Those bells are a bit loud, aren’t they, mum?
  Yeah, I’ll see ya tomorrow.
  Nooo!
• To describe Iolanda in a word, willing would not be inaccurate.
• Ex-fucking-scuz-you?
• The horse broke its moorings.
• Wait, are you rolling at advantage? Why are you rolling at advantage?
  …because you just said I could?
• I will cosplay as the eyeball and get stabbed with a spear 100%..... My wife is looking very much in concern right now.
• Will Wheaton exists, guys!

Episode Fifty-eight: We All Have Flesh Envelopes

October 04, 2021

The party continues to weather the magical sandstorm blowing through the streets of Am-karrak.

Quotes:

• Armmina, they’re playing your song. 
• It’s only undiagnosed because you missed your final appointment to get it diagnosed. You forgot.
• Are there any battle ready corpses in the area?
• The sand was really scared for 6 seconds.
• JERRY WHERE’S THE SAND?
• DESTROY THE CHILD.
• Someone in a tavern somewhere wants a drink!
• It hurts inside your skull brain, that’s the top of your flesh envelope.
• A little to the left?
• I would like to cast shade? It’s a free action, unless you’re a bard.
• I whispered to Matt "MOVE ARMMINA AWAY FROM ME."
• PORCELAIN JIZZ
• YOU SLEPT WITH 50% of HIS GIRLFRIENDS!
• I open the flesh envelope, and a skeleton appears.
• What happens to an envelope after you take the letter out?

Episode Fifty-nine: False Start

October 18, 2022

The group has trouble getting back into the swing of things after a small break from playing, but it's still a good time.

 

Quotes:

• Quick! Someone introduce yourself! He will keep talking as long as someone is laughing, and Jas is gone.
• Halflings have hairy feet, but I don’t think they have hair anywhere else. I googled it.
• We are decidedly fuckups
• Like a giant vagina?
• We don’t fuck with poets

Episode Sixty: Sky Mommy & Bone Daddy

November 08, 2021

The party finishes their fight, and discovers something about themselves along the way.

Quotes:

• No shirt, lots of dirt!
• Qixi chose the best option. She doesn’t have to be subjected to poetry anymore
• That’s a good catch- argh!
  Wait! No!
• Did she catch it with her boobs of missile catching?
• If I fall asleep here I’ll wake up with no pants and dicks drawn on my face.
  Calree will have done that.
• You healed and I’m proud of you
• It’s less of an attack and more of a mating dance
• Eleven doesn’t hit your AC if you’re naked on stage.
• He’ll go down however you want
• You’re in the timeout square
• I have a punch card!
• When you die, can I take your eyepatch?
• Please don’t buff our enemies in the middle of combat, even if they’re hot.
• Qixi! Drop it!

Episode Sixty-one: Catch This

November 22, 2021
The party checks in at Calbarro and Iolanda gets her script. The rest of the party finds out what they can do to help.

Quotes:

• So you can be bought so easily can you, interim GM?
• I’m so hilarious all the time that I can’t always remember
• Too smart! Too smart! Moron idiots are doing this!
• She rolled a 17. I don’t know what that means because I didn’t decide beforehand.
• Who wants demon steak for dinner?
• I’m very proud of you
  That’s weird.
• I just run a kabob shop!
  You’re doing a real good job
• Dragging out a word that has two syllables does not make it two words
• Is she coming in too?
  Once she stops being a big monster.
• Lucy just bloodied Iolanda, again.
• That’s a top quality butt sex joke.
• Can’t do it nonverbally, gonna scream.
• I am darkness
  Alright.
• Let me do my spitball
  No, you spit!
• Over Iolanda’s shoulder. What’s your height?
  Under Iolanda’s shoulder.
• Not with papa Plainswalker around!

Episode Sixty-two: Cheer Camp Drop-outs

Jan. 24, 2020

The party scatters and learns various things in the city. Calree goes undercover, Plainswalker gets a new ambition, and the party gets a new member....

 

Quotes:

• Just like fanfic of the bible is better than the bible
• He’s the healthiest corpse I’ve ever seen.
• You’re just begging to get burned by a devil if you say that.
• You have the most things out of anyone
  And the worst memory
• That’s a 17 on deception
  And we aren’t there to burst out laughing at that bold faced lie.
• Clucky would love to be in a cock fighting ring!
• The previous winner won on a 17 out of a 16 number grid.
• If you put the numbers back to back that’s a 25.
• It is only legally defined as slashing damage
• She said he was the only one to pass her tests
  Tests being murder…
• I just love jumping jacks
• How would you feel about him being punted?
  I don’t mind it.

Episode Sixty-three: Signed in Ink

Jan, 31, 2022

The party makes a deal with Riiyzbth, trying to summon a "friendly" demon.

 

Quotes:

• We all made that sound with different facial expressions
• He gets in the mug like a hot tub
• You’re supposed to be a father figure here!
• I got a 15 for ways you can emotionally abuse…
• It’s eight in the morning….
• If Plainswalker knew what a suppository was he’d be suggesting you try it on Zxzk
• Do we know mold earth when we’re earthworms?
• Is she in jammies?
• Rolled a 19 for immediately falling in love with her
• Are you sure he’s not a dream?
• Girl, I know you’re dumb but you know what spiders are.
• What’s a zebra?
  It’s like a horse that decided to get fancy
• How blood works? Well it’s like orange juice except instead of an orange it’s you.

Episode Sixty-four: Of Dreams and Nightmares

The group sends Armmina into Mirdan Esto's dreams, but find that she isn't the only one facing danger.

Quotes:

• That’s the safe word: bubblegum
• You say a lot of words that have no meaning to me and I just kinda roll with it.
• I don’t plan on putting my faith in her, I plan on putting my dick in her.
• I was going to say use your powers for good, but I know you’re not going to do that so…pick your battles.
• No, no, we’re not talking about the stack
  So if we’re talking about the stack
  Noooooo, we’re talking about the stack.
• Armmina says to get a drink with the boys, because we’re doing things. Nothing suspicious.
• This ritual has Clucky in it. You can’t trust it!
• This just in: angry woman burns down Crialto temple!
• Just stir the risotto every three minutes. I am a literal demon. Yeah, well, don’t burn the rice, literal demon!
• Not in my house!
• I believed in you. Obviously I was wrong.

Episode Sixty-five: Lights out!

Feb 14, 2022

The party processes what Armmina learned and then tries to go to sleep, but they're met with an unexpected surprise.

Quotes:

• Any character at this table, at any time, can be played by Danny DeVito
• Who do they work for?
  Who do I work for?
  Iolanda.
• Catch these dreams, motherfucker!
• Never know when fortune is going to drop in on you!
  I assumed you would have clothes the next time you chose to do so.
• Flaccid if you will.
  I won’t, in fact.
• Fuck you Elliot.
• Can I roll insight on my fire?
• Both the lights have gone out. Please change the lightbulb.
• When Filomellionar reopens his DMs he’s gonna get slaughtered.
• All of our toxic traits are coming out this session.
• Calree is channeling her own mother right now and she will hate it as soon as she realizes it.
• The shoulder pads on this power suit, man- she-
• You weren’t even close to saying moon.
• If I see any slugs I will step on them.