Nerdsetc - A D&D podcast

Episode Forty-three: Finding Religion

June 14, 2021

The party goes their separate ways for a short downtime. Calree tails Hiram, Qixi investigates new spells and the shardlands, Iolanda talks to everyone, Armmina finds religion and has a date.

TW: Parent trauma, baby death (Hypothetical)

Quotes:

• You remember those random innkeepers that our cats are named after?
• I want to wait outside the bathroom.
• You’re better at following than lying.
• I almost said the DC in that.
• There’s always fancier hats.
• The step did it, like it’s okay until you move back out of range
• Wet willie his hand?
• What exactly are you trying to do with this blood?
• Insight! 9!
• Ghosts have blood?
• He doesn’t want to see just any bimbo wrestle in jello, he wants to see THIS bimbo wrestle in jello!
• She got distracted by Oath stuff and forgot what they were talking about.
• The dick becomes a heart

Episode Forty-four: Best Laid Plans

June 21, 2021

The party finishes preparing for their trip into the Shardlands.

 

Quotes:

• It’s shaped like a UFO
  Yeah, that’s a d10
• I need to come up with a way, in 25 words or less, to convince him to give me the recipe for drow sleeping draught.
• Don’t make that sandwich. I think it’s a bomb.
• You know gelatinous cubes? One of those you can eat, and it tastes like fruit.
• You put the ketamine in the turkey! It’s like a pill pocket!
• It’s a giraffe hobgoblin
• They’re fancy! They’re from rich, vampire fucks!
• You know friend?
  Yeah! About yea big? Pretty good at arm wrestling…
• You also made jokes about Sol dating Mr X.
  That’s not a joke. That’s a plan.
• This is my whispered guess into the microphone.

Episode Forty-five: Alas, Poor Antony

June 21, 2021 Pt. 2

The party fights gnolls and the desert before continuing toward their heist.

Quotes:

• *Far too many ant puns*
• I really hope the wizard doesn’t go crazy before our mission.
• Roll initiative
• Fusing it into a dark glass….that shrieks.
• I do not want to arouse the sand.
• It’s how the world works, everyone is against us, including us.
• She’s smote before!
• I got in a slough.
• I as a player sortof expected it because you’re paranoid and insane.
• You boop the snoot!
• Which is a pass
  Sure it is.
• I give you inspiration because this is the second time you’ve nat twentied an object that’s doing nothing.
• You do 15 damage to sand (<3)
• Where’s the sand in initiative order?
• Calree, where are you?
• Do we eat friends?
• I don’t have speak with sand, I’m sorry!
• When other people are better at playing your character than you are...

Episode Forty-six: Maybe Murder

July 5, 2021 PT 1

Qixi’s paranoia continues, Calree officially becomes the smartest person in the group this session.

Quotes:

• Fuck off, right now, get out of here.
• Who’s someone else at the table?
• It’s fine, I have a backup character!
• "I refuse to edit this session.” - Jasmine… who edited this session
• I was prepared this time!
• Hungry hungry gnolls.
• What does ant meat taste like?
• Know who you are Matt.
• Literally everything is suspicious, including Iolanda’s cleavage.
• Everybody likes a can of snakes right?
• "I don’t want to make anybody feel bad…”
  “Aww… that felt good.”
• Zk, I gotta go, I have stuff to do with destroying a cult and freeing some guy from the police.
• I’m going to turn you into an ant with thumbs.
• I’m not sure I deserve an apple.
• I would never become a vigilante that would go around killing cops.

Episode Forty-seven: Failing Upward

July 5, 2021 Pt 2

The party "frees" a prisoner for Mr X.

 

Quotes:

• You never plan or read your spells for the thing we’ve been planning for over a month both in and out of character?
• That’s a gnome!
  No, it's a dwarf. Look at how much bigger it is than the other minis.
• It’s regular Amkarak wear. Pointy hats and all.
• They’re the finest apples this side of Sal Al Marice.
• Roll me a nat20
• They’re going to think that this poor guy is going crazy because of the shardlands.
• Shit! Our horses are gone!
• Gnolls ate our horses!
• I just rolled two nat 1’s. I get advantage on initiative.
• I don’t want to roll I’ve been having poopy rolls.
• Do you know that place?
  Yeah, it’s got the stone usses out front.
• Gnolls! Get em!
• NO! LEAVE THEM TO DIE!
• We are going to kill horses with the amounts of apples we need to buy.
• This is fine, this is fine, this is fine!
• CAUGHT BY THE BEAR TRAP.

Episode Forty-eight: Hostage

July 12, 2021

The party brings back their prisoner, but hits a large roadblock.

 

Quotes:

• This desk, was there a bowl on it? Little, red, clay bowl?
  *In unison* Was there?
• You ever heard of a cockatrice?
  I’ve heard of the first part of that word.
• We charge nothing for our services usually.
  Yeah…..
• Plainswalker’s gonna kiss him. Threatening’s not working!
• People don’t wanna thing, Qixi, it’s hard!
• I also look like I’m carved out of ivory, thank you very much.
• Bezzal’s crown got mad at it.
• Why do you talk to your sword, Iolanda?
• Calree, your butt gets hot.
• He’s 20 feet tall?!? I missed that part of the description!
• That’s a dumb sentence.
• How can I be smarter than I am?
• You gotta hit high guys!
  Guys? You are the only one attacking.
• That’s weird Iolanda.
  Why did you do that, Iolanda?
• Tala why are you getting yourself involved with people?

Episode Forty-nine: Taking a Chill Pill

July 20, 2021

The party tries to take their minds off of their encounter with Mr X.

 

Quotes: It's been a while and Maia forgot to take any down, so you only get the two I remember.

• Does anybody wanna fight....then maybe kiss a little?
• I'm here for fighting, the kissing is optional.
  How optional?

Episode Fifty: Dreams and Other Oddities

July 26, 2021

The party tries to harass a Doctor, but they need to get past his secretary first.

Quotes:

• Gods don’t bleed… bitch.
• Let’s cut a bitch and prove he’s not a god!
• Undoing things with you guys is difficult.
• Gods can’t untie knots.
• Magic school bus y’all!
• Mushrooms are full of soldiers.
• I just created a religion bitch.
• Are those orphans… okay?
• I do dumb shit guys!
• How can you have children with a dick that small?
• Brain Fuck!
• Be more selfish Iolanda!
• Did you just prank me… for years?
• Lemons are pointy?
• Look, just go in and see the quack.
• My thighs are much larger than yours.

Episode Fifty-one: In Your Head

Aug. 09, 2021
The party confronts Dr. Otto about his practice. 

Maia's mic didn't work this session. We did what we could, but sorry for oddness.

We will be taking a brief upload hiatus until November 1st. See you in two weeks!

Quotes:

• I wanna see if this guy’s gonna throw down if we harass him. It’s not gonna stop me.
• To quote Qixi, “The word beige.”
• He’s a weeb!
• Being angry is bad, right?
  No.
• I am trying to get him to hug.
• ...is the most disgusting form of deceit I’ve seen.
• I feel like scooby doo right now
• No offense to warthog people. Are there any here I can’t see?
• When you think stuff does it hurt?
• There’s a lizard in my brain?!?
• You don’t believe in lizards at all?
• I’m gonna roll a persuasion check for puppy dog eyes
• I’m not a bedmaker
• Matt has not yet clued in to the fact that this was his character from a one shot.

Episode Fifty-two: Things Aren‘t People

August 16, 2021

The party tries to sort out other people's problems. Plainswalker discusses life with a love interest, while the rest of the party tries to wrangle a baby.

Quotes:

• He’s not my brother.
  No, he’s the same person!
• Goodbye! Thanks for not killing us!
• Tidepod challenge? It’s very easy to eat them! They're quite small.
• New York, home of the croissant.
• You can punch ghosts?
  Yes! But it’s difficult, but so rewarding
• I ain’t gonna sit on you Calree
• What’s a party?
  …oh no.
• I’m just sitting here thoroughly amused that y’all both forgot I’ve got prest-a-digi-fucking-tation
• How many students peed on your head?
• You don’t chew the food? I thought that’s what makes it different from drink.
  She’s got a fucking point.
• This baby’s first word is gonna be fuck.
• Now you won’t stink you stupid baby.
• Calree’s like, “I don’t know how straight people work!”
• Get abducted with us