Nerdsetc - A D&D podcast

Session Thirty-three: Crossed words and Tim's Bits

November 16, 2021

The party has coffee with an old friend of Armmina and gets some new leads toward the order. They also get some perspective on one another.

 

Noteable quotes:

“Qixi is his weighted blanket”

“Oh I have a theory about those secretaries but I’m asleep right now”

“Sure, you can be anxious I don’t care.”

“It feels oddly familiar, while still having no familiar points about it.”

“Suddenly I don’t want a TimBit”

“I’m gonna have coffee with a Lizard Man.”

‘Fire ants...spicy right?”

“Qixi I’m wrong a lot.” “I know, I’m well aware.”

“It sounds hard being smart.” “It’s really not actually. It sounds hard being dumb.” “It really ain’t.”

“They say he’s better at looking under a rock than a bug, and you know bugs live under rocks.”

“I thoroughly believe that you should never take help from anyone ever.” “Um, help is okay sometimes.” “Wow, you got Qixi to admit that it’s okay to get help sometimes.”

“You speak sensically...sensibly...You speak good.”

“When you expect the worst, anything seems pleasant by comparison.”

Session Thirty-four: El Nudo

April 19, 2021

The party wakes up form strange dreams and discusses their disagreements from the night before, along with some new developments.

 

Quotes:

• Can Everybody be in the mafia? Then what are they mafia...ing?
  There she is.
• That’s so much worse than fucking a horse!
  Yes, please just fuck a horse.
• All we’ve seen manifest Motherf*cker is blowing up your own followers
• Iolanda posts a divine twitter post like, “I really wish I had someone to talk to…”
• You saw it with your sight? Alright, you know that sentence sounds a little weird, right? That’s like saying, “I heard it with my hearing.”
• Good morning! Oh… I’ve forgotten all of your names.
• Why would you proxy through Virginia?
• Can I roll a check to see if Plainswalker can...think?
• Why would you want to take your clothes off in front of someone who reminds you of your mother?

Episode Thirty-five: Intrigue and Tattoos

April 26, 2021

The party meets with a PI about their struggles, then finds a tattoo parlor. None of them are ready for what's waiting for them when they return from their errands.

 

No quotes! We're funny, but our editor was tired.

Episode Thirty-six: Calamity at Calbarro

May 03, 2021

The party supports Iolanda as she repeatedly gets naked.

 

Quotes:

• Am I carrying you one on each shoulder? Or, are we like, stacked?
• I’m pretty sure “amok,” is how you run?
• Hey, I have modifiers to perception too! They’re negative, but I’ve got em.
• If you wanted to control how we advertised, you should have been here.
• My whole tactic for fitting Iolanda is to buy stretchy fabrics
  That’s the high int character!
• It’s okay, we probably won’t end up fighting anyone after dealing with the shady organization.
• She got real scared of chickens, I aint’ sure she’s gonna like you as much as a ghost.
• What weapons are people bringing to a public establishment?
• I have a lot of bones I have fewer balls….
• *seething whisper* whoever is editing this episode, know that we are all uncomfortable.
• There’s no reason for us to not go have a drink! *noise of frustration*
• Can I start a chant?
• What do you do with your heart after it’s felt?
  Okay.
• You guys let the two sentimental ones get into a fake relationship with each other…
  I’m very proud of myself for not making any faces.
  Can we get back to stripping?
• I hate that I have never had issues with revolving doors and now that you have mentioned it…
• Do you wanna be a triceratops?
  Yes. Yes I do.
• We’re either having a nice, quiet evening, or I’m gonna Motley Crew this bitch.
• Don’t scratch the floors!
  Can you scratch marble?
  I dunno, all of my houses were made out of, like, dirt.

Episode Thirty-seven: A Delicate Dance

May 10, 2021

Iolanda performs for a secret organization, while the party runs into troubles of their own.....

 

Quotes:

• Calree’s fighting the narrator now.
• I feel like Calree’s pranks have taken a turn…
  A turn for the murderous.
• Audience participation! Nevermind, it’s a bad idea.
  I’m not good at it!
  We can’t just get a free clip of someone clapping and edit that in?
• Thanks for the wink everyone. Just one at a time, all around the table.
• I didn’t know that pastries would figure so heavily in this episode!
• I have a knife, and a will to take slashing damage.
• You’re doing a great job, but I just think we should hand over GMing to the pastry chef.
• Moral of the story: keep Calree busy.
• Cats like cream, cats like mice, put your hands together.
• You want a demon I can give you a demon, but you won’t like it.
• Why am I under a sheet?
• Ah, umm...I’m not gonna explain capitalism to you.
• Fuck you for putting the image of wool underwear in my head.

Episode Thirty-eight: Cat and Mouse

May 17, 2021

May 17, 2021: Cat and Mouse

The party makes deals with the kingpin Mr. X, sinking further into Am-karrak's underbelly.

TW: infant death mention - hypothetical

• If we agree to this, and we get caught, we’re on the shitlist of the Guardsmiths.
• If I hold the mic up, they can see my mouthing words.
• Iolanda is also fine with torture.
• Have I seen the picnic biters?
• Since it hasn’t been mentioned this session: a ten is a pass.
• You can assume that there is always spit on Plainswalker’s hand
• I deeply enjoy disrespecting magic.
• It’s canon now, Qixi counts cards.
• I rolled an 18, on insight, on the love question.

Episode Thirty-nine: Octopus Bikini

May 24, 2021

The party goes to fight at Mortisa Bare'em!

Quotes:

• “I love pickled beets.”
• “You’re probably better qualified to be a Police Officer than 99.9% of Police Officers”
• “There’s a song about the names of the Province’s and what they are from left to right” 
• “That’s not hard to remember, there’s ONLY 10 of them.”
• “All of the cops that we’ve dealt with are dwarves.”
• “Also, the bathroom in there has GOLD GLITTER.”
• “They’re just smoking the… whatever in the woods… somewhere?”
• “They’re HIGH ELVES.”
• “Robin’s FACE!!”
• “My microphone was ON THE FLOOR!”
• “THUNDERDOME!”
• “Strip laser tag!”
• “The cubbies are quite sizable, like a morgue, you could fit bodies in these cubbies.”
• “She doesn’t have a navel, she has a navel orange.”
• “He can keep up with his hands in his pockets, oh my god, she’s going to kill me.”
• “I…uh… dub thee Thunderclap?”
• “You could be t--t-the INFERNAL LEGACY. ROSE COLOURED INFERNO.”
• “When he heals someone… when he uses his healing touch… he  needs to kiss your feet?”
• “I mean, I guess I just created my first character, and I wanted to be something weird, so… I made a Human Fighter.”
• “It’s been in his mouth… has it been washed?”
  “Well... it was in his mouth that counts as cleaning right?”
• “I CAN REROLL ONES!!!!”
• “Do you think she was flirting with me to distract me?”
• “He might have to get creative if he were to fuck a gnome.”
• “There isn’t a point where more magic is a bad thing.”
• “He’s a Delf right?” silence… “A Dwarf Elf?”
• “My Octopus beak is NAKED!”
• “Now he’s into tentacle porn.”

Episode Forty: Down and Dirty

May 31, 2021

The party finishes their pit matches and then go into the night.

 

Quotes:

May 31, 2021:

• You’ll find that a 9 is less than ten.
• It’s not a pick-up line, it’s an explanation! That’s just what her voice sounds like!
• Damnit, I thought I was flirting with a hot chick and now I’m getting lessons in meteorology.
• Jasmine’s quoteline is, “I don’t want to kinkshame, but ew.”
• I paid for blood
• You’re not gonna octopus me?
• Is this trash talk?
  It’s trivia talk, it’s better!
• This is fun. You guys are using all your spell slots on carnival games.
• Rosé it goes with nut shots
• I know that no one has said that before, but it slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it.
• Maybe it’s not you that needs to change, maybe it’s the environment.
• Congrats, Calree, your mentor has seen your tits.

Episode Forty-one: Hard Conversations

June 07, 2021

The party splits up for some downtime.

Quotes:

• “Do not go breaking laws willy and or nilly.”
• “I would never--” “You’re still in zone of truth.” “--I would!”
• “Where’d I get this crushed bell?”
• “Do you have a note keeping section for your deals?”
• “Jared almost did a spit take!”
• “Mira’s old and doesn’t understand play.”
• “Sarah looks indignant that her body would allow herself to get hurt.”
• “I thought you already slept with someone in this city, y’know the prostitute?”
• “Oh, well that was a business transaction.”
• “Have a goooood night.”
• “I wish you both well on your performances!”
• “Now I have all the time in the world, strangely enough.”
• “I know when I’m being lied to.”
• “That was Jasmine saying no, not Calree.”
• “It’s not the only back door I’ve been let in today.”
• “Do you know anywhere that serves a lot of meat?”
• “I’ve never had anyone say it’s small…”
• “Oh no! Not the shrimp shits!”
• “She full on killed first level Qixi.”
• “This city doesn’t have beds that can hold up to a fucking barbarian?”
• “There’s no beds in the forest, they don’t just grow on bed trees.”
• “When the idiot sound pedantic.”
• “Also you can stop making me cry whenever you want.”

Session Forty-two: We're Not Ready For This

June 07, 2021

The party tries to plan out their heist.

Quotes:

• “Well, why don’t we just do one thing at a time, because I can only focus on so many things at once.”
• “Snitches get stitches.”
• “It’s fine we won’t get caught.”
• “I am a master of disguise.”
• “Everybody has seen me as a girl, everybody has seen a lot of me as a girl.”
• “She’s learning to come to her name though!”
  “Yeah I’m sure she is.”
• “Wanna grind out a level real fast?”
• “It goes without saying but Iolanda would also like to flirt in her downtime.”